Working with Groups and Disengagement
Have you ever delivered a presentation, and had a sense that people weren't really buying into what you had to say? What about working with a group to facilitate a consensus on responsibilities and deadlines? Was everyone on board with the ideas, or did some appear disengaged?
Ideally, when you stand up to deliver a presentation or work with group, you want 100% engagement with all concerned. This often doesn't happen on its own, though. But you can actively engage the audience when you need to if you're alert to some of the typical signs and signals of people not being engaged. Some of these signs and signals include:
Heads are down.
Eyes are glazed, or gazing at something else.
Hands may be picking at cloths, or fiddling with pens.
People may be writing or doodling.
They may be sitting slumped in their chairs.
When you pick up that someone appears not to be engaged in what is going on, you can do something to re-engage him or her and bring their focus back to what you are saying, such as asking them a direct question.
And while this is going on, make sure that your own body language is saying what you want it to.
Lying
Of all the non-verbal body language that we may observe, being able to tell whether a person is lying or not will stand you in good stead.
Some of the typical signs and signals that a person is lying include:
Eyes maintain little or no eye contact, or there may be rapid eye movements, with pupils constricted.
Hand or fingers are in front of his or her mouth when speaking.
His or her body is physically turned away from you, or there are unusual/un-natural body gestures.
His or her breathing rate increases.
Complexion changes such as in color; red in face or neck area.
Perspiration increases.
Voice changes such as change in pitch, stammering, throat clearing.
As with all non-verbal language, it's important to remember here that everyone's personal body language is slightly different. If you notice some of the typical non-verbal signs of lying, you shouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions, as many of these signals can be confused with the appearance of nervousness. What you should do, however, is use these signals as a prompt to probe further, ask more questions and explore the area in more detail to determine whether they are being truthful or not.
Further clarification is always worthwhile when checking out your understanding of someone's body language, and this is particularly true during job interviews and in negotiating situations.
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What do you do when you are asked a really good question? Do you ponder for a few moments before answering?
You might simply blurt something out without taking time to think about the answer, or you could take a moment to reflect before answering. By taking some time to reflect on your response, you are indicating to the questioner that they've asked you a good question and it is important enough for you to take some time to consider your answer.
Be that in an interview situation or when negotiating something with someone, showing that you are indeed thinking over your answer is a positive thing. Some typical signs and signals that a person is reflecting on their answer include:
- Eyes look away and return to engage contact only when answering.
- Finger stroking on chin.
- Hand to cheek.
- Head tilted with eyes looking up.
So, whether you are on the receiving end of someone pondering, oryou are doing the pondering, there are certain gestures that give itaway.
One size does NOT fit all
We mentioned earlier that each person is unique, and that their signs and signals might have a different underlying cause from the ones you suspect. This is often the case when people have different past experiences, and particularly where cultural differences are large. This is why it's important to check that your interpretation of someone else's body language is correct. You might do this through the use of further questions, or simply by getting to know the person better.
To help practice and further develop your skill in picking up body language, engage in people-watching. Observe people – be that on a bus/train or on television without the sound – and just notice how they act and react to each other. When you watch others, try to guess what they are saying or get a sense of what is going on between them.
Even if you do not get the chance to check whether you are correct in your assessment, you will be developing your observational skills. This in turn can help you to pick up signals when you are interacting with others.
Key Points:
Body language accounts for as much as 55% of how we communicate, and can reflect quite accurately what's going on inside us.
Body language includes body movements and gestures (legs, arms, hands, head and torso), posture, muscle tension, eye contact, skincoloring (flushed red), even people's breathing rate and perspiration. Additionally, the tone of voice, the rate of speech and the pitch of the voiceall add to the words that are being used.
It is important to recognize that body language may vary between individuals, and between different cultures and nationalities. It is therefore essential to verify and confirm the signals that you are reading, by questioning the individual and getting to know the person.